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My daughter is four years old and every year on her birthday, my wife and I each write a letter to our little birthday girl.  In the letter, we write a personal message documenting all of the wonderful things we love about her, all of the qualities that make her unique, interesting things she has done over the past year, and funny things that she does and says.  I also include a prayer to our Lord Jesus Christ specifically asking for protection and guidance in her life.  I write the letter to let her know just how precious she is to me and how deeply I love her.  Honestly, it becomes a bit of an emotional event for me as I reminisce about how she has grown and changed in the past year.

I have written each of my letters to my daughter in my own handwriting.  In this day of “digital everything” (e-bills, e-filing,  emails, instant messaging, text messaging), I think there is something to be said for taking the time to write out a heart-felt letter by hand.  I believe that emails, as common and convenient as they are, are easily deleted and easily forgotten.  But putting pen to paper makes for a more meaningful and memorable letter.

My wife has not read my letters to my daughter and I have not read her letters either.  We certainly could, but we both feel that these are deeply personal letters just for our daughter.  Of course, my daughter, being four years old has not read them either.  We have just tucked them away, to be saved for a special time in her life.  We aren’t quite sure when that will be yet.  Maybe it will be when she turns 16, maybe when she goes to college, maybe when she gets married.  We just don’t know yet.  I believe as time goes on, God will let us know when the right moment will be.

I fully intend to keep writing my daughter a birthday letter as she continues to grow throughout the years.  I hope that one day she will read these letters and be reminded that her mother and I have been praying for her since before she was born, that we have always and will always deeply love her, and that she is a truly beautiful and cherished young lady.

We also have twin boys that are two years old.  For their two birthdays, my wife and I have also written them letters.  As twins, they have to share a lot.  They share clothes, they share a room, they share their toys.  The list goes on and on.  However, with their birthday letters, we write each one of them their own letter and really make it about them.  We focus on what makes them unique and special.  I hope they will someday read through their letters and see that we have been praying for their salvation since they were babies, asking Jesus to mold them into mighty men of God, and that we pray for their future spouses; that they would meet Godly women to marry some day.

I would encourage anyone that reads this post and feels a stirring in their heart, to pick up a pen and paper and write their child/children a letter.  In the years to come, it may prove to be a very special gift for your child.

Christianity, Family, Parenting

Since early on in our marriage, my wife and I have had a monthly finance meeting.  We have found it incredibly helpful to set aside one evening a month to discuss where we stand with regards to our budget and look ahead to the upcoming months.

Typically, we meet during the last week of the month.  For us, there is significance to meeting during this time which I will discuss later in this post.  When we do meet, we make sure my wife and I have at least an hour to dedicate to the meeting.  Generally, this occurs after the kids are in bed. 

There are a few items that we make sure to have handy for our finance meetings: 

1)  The Checkbook

2)  Our Family Calendar

3)  Last Month’s Finance Meeting Sheet

4)  The Current Month’s Finance Meeting Sheet

Our Finance Meeting Sheet is a very simple document I created that we print out each month.  It consists of the following sections:

Status of Bills

Additional Income

Additional Expenses / Gifts

One-Month Outlook

Three-Month Outlook

Each of these categories gives us a starting point for discussing different areas of our finances.

We start with the status of bills.  Here, we crack open the checkbook, make sure all transactions have been entered, confirm that everything balances, review which recurring bills are paid/unpaid, and look at our checking account balance.  Having the family calendar near by makes it easy to review when it is payday and when certain bills need to be paid. 

Second, we review any additional income that we may have coming in this month.  This category typically takes just a minute or two :).  Items may include an income tax refund, a work bonus, gifts we have received, etc.

The next category involves any additional expenses we have incurred throughout the month.  We try not to use our credit cards too much (you can read about that here), but this category is where we make sure to review any unpaid credit card balances from the past month.  Within this category, we also look to the month ahead, turning our focus to additional expenses coming in the next month.  Again, having the calendar available helps to determine any gifts we need to purchase or upcoming events that may cost us extra money.  By looking at our additional expenses, this leads us directly to the one-month outlook portion of our meeting.

Within the one-month outlook, we discuss any additional known expenses that we see coming up in the next month.  This can include items such as medical appointments, taking vehicles into the mechanic for maintenance, large purchases for the home, etc.  Of course, this list can go on and on and we typically need to prioritize which items will be purchased this month and which items have to wait another month.

Finally, we review our three-month outlook.  This gives us a chance to look ahead to the next few months to discuss (and plan for) upcoming items such as family vacations.  This is where it is really helpful to have last month’s finance meeting sheet handy.  It serves as a reminder for what was discussed the previous month and helps us compare where we thought we would be to where we currently stand with our budget.  It also allows us to adjust priorities if needed for future months.   

My wife is the one in our family that actually pays the bills so having the monthly finance meeting helps me stay current on the status of our finances.  Basically, it is just a good way to communicate with her regarding where our money is being spent and to stay on the same financial page as a couple.

The reason that we have our finance meeting near the end of each month is that our mortgage is due on the first of the month.  One of the final decisions we make in our meeting is how much money to put towards our mortgage.  Whenever possible, we like to pay extra on our mortgage so when our finance meeting is complete, we have a good idea how much we can pay on the mortgage.

By making it a routine to have monthly finance meetings, my wife and I are consistently communicating our financial status with each other.  We can usually get through the entire meeting in about an hour.  I can tell you, setting aside time for this meeting has proven highly useful within our marriage.  If you are looking for a simple way to review your finances with your spouse, a monthly finance meeting could prove helpful.  Give it a try and let us know how it goes!

Marriage

I remember it so vividly; Trace and I drove to our OB’s office on the morning of June 21, 2006 to have the twenty week ultrasound of our second baby.  We planned to have the ultrasound technician circle the gender of our baby on a card I  previously made so we could read it together at lunch later that same day.  (Read more about that here).   We were so excited to see this little one for the first time!  They called us back into the room where I settled myself onto the table.  The technician then placed the probe on top of by growing belly.  Within seconds, she said "You are having twins!"  Trace and I looked at each other and then looked at her and said, "You’re kidding, right?"  She said, "No!  Look right here."  She then proceeded to show us both of their heads touching each other.  It was so cute!  We were in shock!  Twins don’t run in the family so who would have thought it would happen to us?  Nonetheless, for the next hour, the technician discovered that the babies were both completely healthy and each in their own sac.  We were both ecstatic and yet already extremely nervous to bring two little babies home.  But were they both boys, both girls, one of each?  We decided right then and there that the card (described in this post) would not work and asked the technician if she would tell us their genders.  She looked at baby "A" and saw that it was a boy.  Next, she looked at baby "B" and said it was another boy.  Both Trace and I thought we were having another girl.  We couldn’t have been more wrong!

After our extended stay at the Doctor’s office, we went out to lunch to talk and try to process what we had just been told.  Now, we needed to think of two boy names instead of just one.  How fun!  We definitely needed another crib and more baby equipment. i.e. swings, bouncy chairs, highchairs, car seats, etc.  And how were we going to tell our family and friends?  We sure did shock a few people with our exciting news.  When I told my mom we were having twin boys, she still didn’t believe me for quite a while.  She finally realized it wasn’t a prank when my husband and brother, who were standing next to me, confirmed that I was telling the truth.  Most of our family and friends didn’t believe us until we showed them our ultrasound pictures.  We had a great time telling people about our twin boys and still do to this day. 

The day of our ultrasound was one of the best days of my life!  Meeting them five and a half months later was even better!  Praise the Lord that they were both healthy, weighing in at over 7 pounds each!  I still marvel at the fact that my husband and I have twin boys.  They are such a joy and a blessing.  I wouldn’t change it for the world!

Family

We all want the best for our kids.  And when it comes to safety, we spare no expense.  This rule certainly applies when shopping for a car seat.  When our daughter turned one, we bought a Britax Marathon car seat .  It is an excellent product and I would recommend it to anyone looking at purchasing a car seat. 

The Britax Marathon car seat cover has upwards of fifteen color options to choose from including Granite, All Star Blue, Crocodile, New Denim, Tan Swirl, and numerous others.  The car seat cover choices make for a nice looking car seat, but the real reason to purchase the Marathon is for its versatility and safety ratings.  Britax has an excellent reputation in the car seat business and I believe it is well deserved.  The car seat is large and comfortable for children but primarily built with the child’s safety in mind.  One of the best things about the Marathon is that a child can use this same car seat from the time they are infants (at least 5 pounds) all the way until they are 65 pounds.  Most car seats are not certified for infants and older children but this car seat will provide you with an all-in-one option for many years.  The Marathon has an easy to use five-point harness for strapping in your child.  There is a clip across the chest and then a clip near the child’s legs.  It is a simple process to buckle up your child and to get the child in and out of the car seat.

For installation, the Marathon has LATCH capabilities but you can use a standard seat belt as well.  We use the LATCH system and find it incredibly easy to use.  I don’t think twice about taking the car seat out and re-installing it in our van.  I also really appreciate the clear and concise instructions that come with the Marathon .  When it comes to car seat installations, I want to be 100% certain I am installing it correctly and the Britax User Guide is top-notch.  It has clear pictures and simple instructions for installing with LATCH, a shoulder belt, and a lap belt.  It also clearly describes a rear-facing installation and a front-facing installation.  A few years ago, we took a trip to Boston and brought the car seat on the plane with us.  The instruction manual even gives detailed instructions for installing the seat on an airplane.
Some people may hesitate when they see the price of the Britax Marathon but the way I see it, most parents purchase two car seats for a child - one for when they are an infant and one for when they are older.  Since this car seat can be installed facing the rear for infants and forward-facing for older kids, it is almost like getting two car seats in one.  Additionally, I believe the quality of this car seat makes it worth any price.
When my daughter was two years old, my wife and I had twin boys.  They now sit in Britax Marathon car seats as well.  It is kind of funny looking in our van at three car seats that are exactly the same, but that should be proof enough of our endorsement of the Britax name.  All three children sit comfortably in their Marathon while my wife and I are comforted by knowing that they are in a well-built, extremely safe car seat.  I highly recommend it.

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